October 1, 2013

Age: 29 yrs, 10 mns, 39 days
Height: 4′ 11″
Weight: 125

This isn’t about being overweight, this is about being unhealthy.
I have challenged myself and set a goal date, my 30th birthday, to quit smoking, eat better, and to tighten my stomach up. That’s it, please don’t think this is about lossing weight, I just want to be healthy again. I’m tired of waking up in pain everyday.

Same old, same old

Image

I feel like I’ve been here before
The feeling of disappointment overwhelms my soul
Always thinking next time this happens, I’m done
But when next time comes, I stay thinking it’s the last time
I cry alone, even know your right next to me
Not even a touch to show you care
Pain is so deep it feels like it will never heal
The love I have for you is so great, and so overlooked
I yell, that’s all I know to do, even though it makes it worse
But when the table is turned, it’s all ok
I don’t want to yet I feel that’s the only way you’ll hear my voice
The angr inside makes me want to break things, but I don’t
If I could only learn to control my yelling in the same way, things might be better
But why is it always me and my faults, why can’t you try changing
How have I let myself get here, Love it’s the craziest emotion

As much as I enjoy the emotion, some days I wish I could turn it off
How can someone make to feel so useless
How can someone make you question your every move
How is it that someone can have this affect on you, yet you not have that same affect on them
All I can do is pray that you’ll wake up and see what you have before it’s gone

 

Never Forgotten

It shouldn’t take a special day for you to take a minute out of your busy life to thank those who keep us save everyday

Thank you to past, present and future soldiers and sailors

Our Lady...

Please watch over me and guide me through my days
Some times I get lost and can’t find my way
I look to you, for I am weak without you
The strength you give me gets me through day

I’m sorry for not always having faith, it’s hard some times in this sad world we live in but I promise to do my best as I know that you will always be by my side

Don't lose you...

((my pink boots. $1 from a store in Japan))

I use to take my camera everywhere
It bothered some people
I couldn’t do anything without taking a picture
Some people say when you take a picture of a person, you steal part of their soul…
I have a lot of souls in my files
How did I lose that part of me??
Why have I allowed myself to become so “busy”, that I don’t make time for something that I love?

I was chatting with a friend and searching for myself, when I came across an art site that I use to post on all the time
Seeing all my old photos reminded me of that important thing… myself

I promise I will try not to lose me anymore
I like me too much to lose it again

“City girls are just country girls with cuter outfits”

Carrie Bradshaw, oh Carrie… I know you are just a character on a show but how I love you; your style drives me crazy and you always have the right words ((as you should since you’re a writer))

 

Here I sit in this empty state of mind
Yet I still have thoughts
so many thoughts

Why is the TV still on?
So many channel
Yet nothing worth watching

 

Have you ever thought about if everyone was actually like the person inside their head? I think about it often, mainly because if I acted on every thought that I had or said everything I really wanted too… Let’s just say I would probably never have any friends and would probably be single for the rest of my life.
But then I think about how much more honest the world would be if we all just said how we really feel; maybe not do everything we think about, cause I’m pretty sure I would have been arrested a couple times for smashing someones car windows.
Some times we are lucky enough to meet people that can handle everything that you truly have to say even if it’s hurtful. Those people are few and far between, hold on to them.

 

As it gets darker out there
My eyes become heavy
Yet it’s still so early
Or is it ever too early?

over and out… for now

 

This is me…

Jenie

Crazy how a smile can be provoked by something or someone and that same thing or some one can also turn that smile upsidedown.

I’m not the best with my words, some times they trip me up and I lose all the right ones and the only ones I can find are the wrong ones.

I’m here to release some emotions that I can’t always release out loud or in “real” life. So please when reading anything on here, don’t try and “fix” anything, most of the time I just need to let it all out and move on.

Scorpio. Green. Steelers. Las Vegan. Teacher. Tattoos. Country. Sewing. Painter. Photos. Simple. Led Zeppelin.

me…